It's me

 Ye koi blog nahi hai bas aaj man Kiya kisi se bat karane ka to shayad khud se hi kar rah hu  muje malum nahi ko me kuch  situation me kay Karu jese ki jab mere Nana ji ko death ho gai thi tab mere aasa pasa ke sare log roo rahe the lekin me chupa tha muje kucha bhi feel nahi ho raha tha kucha piche chuta Gaya hai yesa muje kabhi bhi mehsus nahi huva aaj ki bhasha me bolu to me sensative nahi hu muje  jyada feel nahi hota muje emotion jyada mehsus nahi hote  yaa shayadh tab jab mere uncal ne suicide suicide karane ki koshish ki thi tab bhi muje kucha feel nahi ho raha tha kya me ye sahi rehane vala hu kya muje ye emotion kabhi bhi feel nahi hoge ya  ye sab mere gar se dura rehane ka aasar hai kabhi ye nahi sochata ki khuda ko kucha  banane ki aad me me kucha kho Raha hu   ?  Muje nahi pata shayadh isa liye kajal, ne muje reject Kiya hoga  

 Lekin ye bhi to hai ki me yesi  situations me aaram se sochata hu jese ki mere uncal ne jab suicide karane ki koshish ki thi tab me unake sat tha hospital me tab me unki madad kar rha tha muje kucha feel nahi hota lekin yese manalo me me unki madad to kar sakata hu muje nahi pata ki koi meri ye side janane ke bad mere sat rahe ga ya nahi haa maa ka pata chala ki unaka bete emotion less hai to une kese lagega bas kucha bhi ho me khuda ko badalane ki koshish to kar sakata hu lekin me kiske liye  khudha ko kyu badalu

Me yese me vishwas nahi rakata ki kisi ke liye khudha ko badalna  

Lekin aagar me scheme kiske liye badhal to  kya me tabhi vahi rameshwar rahunga muje nahi pata 

Jab kajal ne muje reject Kiya tha tab bhi me yesa hi ta kucha jyada farak to  nahi padha lekin pehali bar kisise rejection ko jalana thoda chubhatato hai 😅 yek yehi feeling hai jo aaj bhi me mehasus kar sakat hu jab bhi use me dekhata hu to yesa lagata hai ki kucha mere hatho se chuta Chuka hai kaasa me kucha our din ruka jata kas me  use kucha our din janane ki koshish karata to Shayad o muje nahi na bolati 

 Fira bhi aabhi muje samaj aaya hai ki sonu ko kesa feel huva hoga jab mene use naa bola tha  me use sorry bolana chahata hu lekin aabhi bahut der ho chuki hai aabhi chupa rehane me hi bhalai hai use fira se oo sab yad nahi karana chahata kyuki muje maluma hai ki kucha yado ko bhula Jana hi sahi reha ta hai 

Bas aabhi kucha karana hai maa papa ki khwahisho ko pura karana hai gaav me Jamin Leni hai Naya gar banavana hei bhai ko aapane pairope khada karana hai  ye shayad jyada hogay 😅 lekin kucha yesa karana hai ki une aapane bete pe fakra ho muje ye bhi nahi pata ki me ye sab kar pauga ya nahi lekin  papa ko kam nahi rane duga chahe kucha bhi ho une aabhi se koi taklif nahi hone duga  bass our kucha din.................

Muje kucha logo ka samaj nahi aata kal Deepa ne muje message Kiya ki kucha batana hai our mai puchata raha lekin kucha nahi bataya  aaj bhi use mene message Kiya hai lekin kucha reply nahi aaya bas use ye na lage ki me kucha jadha he possessive ho raha hu  lekin muje fikar hoti hai ki o kisi mushkil me na fase use meri jarurat ho our me usake madat na kar saku kal Mai use call karane vala hu.

Bye ..